HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Wine her, dine her, phone her, hug her, support her, hold her, surprise her, compliment her, smile at her, listen to her, laugh with her, cry with her, romance her, believe in her, cuddle with her, dhop with her, give her Jewellery, buy her flowers, hold her hand, write love letters to her, go to the end of the earth and back again for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Arrive naked, bring beer.

Jane: Do you drink beer?
Mark: Yes.
Jane: How many beers a day?
Mark: Usually about 3.
Jane: How much do you pay per beer?
Mark: About 3 euros, including a tip.
Jane: And how long have you been drinking beer?
Mark: About 25 years, I suppose.
Jane: So a beer costs 3 euros and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at 270 euros. In one year, it would be approximately 3,285 euros.
Mark: Correct.
Jane: If in 1 year you spend 3,285 euros, not accounting for inflation, the past 25 years puts your spending at 82,125 euros, correct?
Mark: Correct
Jane: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer,that money could have been put in an interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 25 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Mark: Do you drink beer?
Jane: No
Mark: Where's your Ferrari?