INTERCOURSE

A couple, both age 67, went to a sex therapist's office. The Doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them $50.
This happened for several weeks. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges £90. The Hilton charges £120. We do it here for £50, and I get £43 back from Social Security."

Rudolph the Red

There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red. He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting.
He turned to her and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!" Without even looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It must be snowing." The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"