TWO HUNTERS

Two hunters from New Jersey are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing.
The other quickly takes out cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps out to the operator: "I think my friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice, says: "Just take it easy. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. "OK," he says, "Now what?".

COLIN

Colin was bragging to his boss one day,
"You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
His boss said, "OK, Colin, how about Tom Cruise?"
Colin replied "Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Colin and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Colin! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!
Although impressed, Colin's boss is still skeptical.
After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Colin that he thinks that knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Colin says.
"OK. President Obama," his boss says.
"Yes," Colin says, "Old mates, let's fly out to Washington."
At the White House, Obama notices Colin from inside his car, calls him and his boss over, saying, "Colin, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
The boss is very surprised, but still not totally convinced.
Colin challenges him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Colin. "My Parents are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome.
Colin and his boss are standing with all the people in St Peter's Square when Colin says,
"This is impossible. The Pope can’t see me among all these people. Listen, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd walking in the direction of the Vatican.
Half an hour later Colin appears with the Pope on the
balcony. But by the time Colin returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is lying on the ground surrounded by paramedics.
Colin moves closer to his boss and asks, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said:
"Who the hell's that on the balcony with Colin?".