GERMAN TOURIST

A German tourist walks into a McBroma's in New York City and orders a beer. A local man in the line behind him immediately says to him, "They don't serve beer here, you idiot!"
The German man felt embarrassed, however he turned to the New Yorker with a surprised look on his face and begins to laugh.
"What's so funny?" the New Yorker demands.
"Oh, nothing really", said the German. "I just realized how stupid you are. You came here for the food!"

A primary teacher starts a new job at a school near Liverpool and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Liverpool fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Liverpool fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I'm a Manchester City fan, and I'm proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why are you a City fan?"
"Because my mum and dad are from Manchester, and my mum is a City fan and my dad is a City fan, so I'm a City fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher, obviously annoyed, "That's no reason for you to be a City fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a drug addict and your dad was a car thief, what would you be then?"
"Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a Liverpool fan."