Free drinks for everyone

One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please." The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. "What, no drink for me?" replies the bartender. "Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."

Can you Smell it?

A 21 year old girl saunters into a prestigous car showroom, looks around all the Porsches, Ferrari's and Lamborghini's before deciding on a top-end Red Porsche.
"I'll pay cash!" she says and hands over a bagful of Twenties.
The deal is finalised very quickly and the girl drives it away.

2 days later she's back, fuming "I want my money back... it smells awfully (6) bad when I use the brakes."

Not wanting to lose the sale (having taken cash and fiddled the books) the sales-manager decides to ride in the car with her 'in case she ain't driving it properly'

He gets in and she roars out of the dealership, drops it into second gear at 50 mph, floors the pedal again and slips into 3rd at 80mph, does a handbrake turn into a country lane and then really starts to accelerate.
110mph in 4th, 140 in 5th, the engine's roaring like a Lion with toothache, and the car is shuddering as it climbs to 170mph. The scenery is a green blur and the G-force has him pinned in the seat.

In the distance, to his relief, the barriers of a level crossing are beginning to come down and she will have to slow down (he thinks!), but no, she floors it and the speedometer climbs higher.

100 yards from the crossing she slams on the brakes and the car stops inches from the barrier.

"So, can you smell it?" she says.

"SMELL IT? HONEY, I'M SITTING IN IT!!!"