- A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
- A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.
- A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
- A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
- It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.